kristin has been a bad kristin
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
