hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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