so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
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I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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