Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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