I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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