Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize