how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
