Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
