as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
wow bdsm is so cute
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