We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize