oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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