Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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