Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
