I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I didn't notice because vodka
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
