I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
