could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
