In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
