Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
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