Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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