my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just want nice things and good sex
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
