It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
