By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
