So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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