the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
