I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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