walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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