I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
