i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
