I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
