There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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