I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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