So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
porn star boner night. come get it.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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