Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
