I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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