You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
