So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
