just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize