you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
God I need to hump something, right now.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
