Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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