fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Be still, my beating vagina.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
