hell yes lets make some ravioli
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
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