If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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