I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
