so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
