so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
