we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
