it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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