how can u be prego again
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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