I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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