i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
