$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize