I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
