I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
