Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I think people are normalizing furries
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
