so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
