We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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