Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
