the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
