You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I feel like abortions should bother me more
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
