Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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