Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
